Often we ask children to reflect on their actions whether in school or at home. Do we get time or make time as adults to reflect in the same way?

 

 

Each of us has an individual outlook on the world which is shaped by our personal experiences. How we have made sense of our own childhood experiences will determine how able we are to relate to the children in our care.  Parents who are aware of their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will understand this will influence the way they respond and relate to their children. 

 

 

What is a Reflective Practice?

Reflective practice is in its simplest form, thinking about or reflecting on what you do. It is closely linked to the idea of 'learning from experience', in that you think about what you did, think about why you made those choices and whether or not you achieved the desired outcome. In effect, it is a process of using insight to learn from our past and make conscious changes to the present.

 

 

Why is it important? 
Reflective practice sessions can help you to become familiar with recognising when our buttons have been pushed. They provide enormous benefits in increasing self - awareness which is a fundamental aspect of emotional intelligence, and in developing a better understanding of ourselves and others. 

 

Inevitably we are all human, and sometimes we lose our cool. Unsurprisingly the ability to reflect quickly becomes lost when we feel under pressure, yet it is one of the things that we need most in those moments of stress. A lack of reflective capacity can lead to parents becoming reactive in the face of challenging behaviours. This can sometimes result in unhealthy patterns of relating being passed from generation to generation; causing history to repeat itself. Research has shown that the best predictor of a child’s attachment style is how parents or carers reconnect and support their child to make sense of these moments of disconnection. 

 

How can it support my relationship with my child?
Using my knowledge of child development and mental health I can help you to become curious about the thoughts and feelings that may be underlying your child's behaviour. This implicitly communicates to your child that you believe their actions are a meaningful attempt to communicate with you. It also shows your child that you want to understand and that the relationship with them is more important than winning an argument. Strengthening your ability to reflect is like strengthening a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will become. The capacity to reflect instead of reacting empowers you to use thoughtful insight into how best to relate to your child with empathy and acceptance whilst also respecting their individuality.   

 

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to parents! As parents become more able to cope with a wider range of feelings within themselves they paradoxically give their child permission to do the same. What better gift to give yourself and your child?

 

If you would like to find out more about parenting support, please get in touch by clicking on the link below